Friday, July 30, 2010

From 'And We All Fall'

#2 

As black as the cold can get
One chance to slowly spasm and again
The lack of purpose in the dreams to forget
Now like a time that is still,
I cannot go on thinking somethings are what they weren't
I'll sleep until day breaks, I'll sleep until the night comes
And sleep off whatever was the cause in the fog of dawn
It is just the lack of purpose in dreams made to forget

One foot in the shade,

Day like night
The loss to begin the frost
As black as the cold can get
I still see you lost and eclipsed
I still see them waiting for me at dawn
Nothing ever simple now as I wait unsheltered
And this loss begins to frost

Say it to me when you say it
Mean what you say like you need it
I am the own, the right to take
All the day, every night I lye awake

...though I'm not sleeping
I'm dreaming.

What I have to give is all I have
You cannot have what I can give
A survival instinct awakens promising
This is my disease
I will protect you
This is me alone
You will never know

My pillows watched my head fall apart
Eyes aching, body drained, deprivation and confusion
They got to watch it all
Taken the best of me I try to but,
I can't take the rest with me

What I have to give is all I have
You cannot have what I can give
A survival instinct awakens promising
This is my disease
I will protect you
This is me alone
You will never know

It's the useless of the day
The chance to be fetal and dig
The return of the day and the night that wants to stay
I cannot go on thinking something is going to change
Fade away, always pay, and beg for my rights in filth
And I dream a lack of purpose I learned to forget
Sun sets day like night and there is no shade

Say it to me when you say it
Mean what you say like you need it
I am the own, the right to take
All the day, every night you lye awake

...though I'm sleeping
I'm not dreaming.

Hold my head and startle me
Take off the cuffs and tape the mouth shut
I reach in a silence to govern my own justice
Punished before death, left with dreams made to forget
I still call you lost and eclipsed
Can touch you but never speak what dreams I'm hiding
As black as the cold can get
Day like night and I want to stay
And this loss begins to frost.

What I have to give is all I have
You cannot have what I can give
A survival instinct awakens promising
This is my disease
I will protect you
This is me alone
You will never know

There is no shade,
Day like night.



Scott T. Swartz enjoyed free will and made his own choices until he no longer could. Life as a simple man, he began creative writing at a very young age and continued until his final diagnosis, after many, of schizoaffective disorder - bipolar type I (rapid cycle). Crawling out of the gap he ultimately began writing after he proceeded to obtain his General Education Development diploma, in lieu of high school graduation and attended a California community college. He also enjoyed writing lyrical poetry which he seeks to be performed in a rock band somehow. All obstacles aside, his choices returned after exhaustive treatment with a dark remainder: his inner tone and favorite past times of listening to music, exploring the internet to manifest future goals in vain, and living life as a free man contemplating a world of limitless potential yet to be revealed in the present tense...which still may be.

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