Monday, January 31, 2011

From And We All Fall

#3
And it comes back
Around never been there
It isn't me can't they see
Want this rope tie myself
Need this more than you,
I just might sleep tonight
Surrender this machine and let me stay
Take me for a ride through you
Down to nowhere and down again
Break this cycle of myself
And I break
Twisting in the delusions sleeping with me
This selfish means defines me
Promise you I always knew
Turn away and grasp the sheet
Cold and sweat leaks have become
My best friends who walked away
Dream of a better way to be afraid
Underneath this ledge I hide medicated
And I'm slipping further from the ceiling
Crawl the walls because I have this feeling
Feels like I,
Dying I find a way
Somethings never change yet stay the same
I have found the place where illustrations of my mind
Paint something there asking what I can't speak
And what I wish you could know
So distant is the touch of disarmed honesty
There is something up there
Some can only know what they've missed
Losing one thing you can't buy
Brings me closer in my eyes
Never had this, never wanted more
Imagine an excuse to feel the abuse
Thoughts race and I refuse
I stay inside waiting for the light to shine through
It isn't me can't you see,
And it comes back
Around never been there
Can't this rope tie myself
To a void I awaken and fades away
Faces change and my heart fits the shape
Sleep alone,
I need this more than you
--Scott T. Swartz enjoyed free will and made his own choices until he no longer could. Life as a simple man, he began creative writing at a very young age and continued until his final diagnosis, after many, of schizoaffective disorder - bipolar type I (rapid cycle). Crawling out of the gap he ultimately began writing after he proceeded to obtain his General Education Development diploma, in lieu of high school graduation and attended a California community college. He also enjoyed writing lyrical poetry which he seeks to be performed in a rock band somehow. All obstacles aside, his choices returned after exhaustive treatment with a dark remainder: his inner tone and favorite past times of listening to music, exploring the internet to manifest future goals in vain, and living life as a free man contemplating a world of limitless potential yet to be revealed in the present tense...which still may be.

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